Confidence Begins with You
I just celebrated my birthday month, yup, that’s right – I said month! I think as we age it’s a great idea to celebrate another year on this planet! Tomorrows are never promised so why not cherish our todays!
But here’s what’s notable: With age comes wisdom, a “been there done that” attitude, a shift to see things differently, because you have more life experience.
BUT somewhere along the way, you lose your self-confidence. You may like the shift in your new way of thinking but you are somehow stressed and insecure. Maybe it is because you’re running out of energy at 11 am, you’re skipping the gym more than you’re going, you’re obsessed with food, and those pounds that used to melt off are stuck no matter what you do!
These changes are scary, they shatter your confidence, but you are not alone!
Stephaine was the first speaker today. She’s made this speech a million times, but it’s been a while because of the pandemic. She’s been zooming from the waist up and now this is “in person” in front of her peers. She’s feeling anxious, stressed, panicked and guilty because her snacking is out of control lately and she ate a whole bag of Doritos last night because she was so nervous!
Does she feel like giving up? She knows she has the knowledge, experience, and skills. What happened to that confident person she used to be?
Lack of confidence impacts all areas of life, from the boardroom to the bedroom! Feeling confident helps you stay connected in business relationships, personal relationships, and with friends and family.
Knowing how to feel confident can open doors you may have thought were closed, build healthy relationships, and help you handle conflict, seek out new adventures and opportunities, and improve your personal growth. But here’s the big one:
Imagine feeling enough confidence to stop caring about what others think! Yeah, I know, you say you don’t care, but somewhere inside you still feel it!
And what about that bucket list you’ve been building for years? You added to this list all the new things you haven’t been able to do or try yet. All your dreams you have been waiting for, but what’s happened? Do you want to travel, have adventures such as skydiving, mountain climbing, or maybe just a nice tour of your favorite winery or visit a friend you haven’t seen in years, or maybe the confidence to pull off a sexy new look. Does the thought of attending your reunion panic you?
You think you changed your mind, you’re too old, or out of shape, you have no energy, and you’ve gained weight. But consider that you’ve lost your confidence!
Learning how to be more confident starts with you! It is an inside job, no one can give you confidence. It must be owned.
You all know the person who might not be in the best shape, have the most stylish clothes or the perfect teeth, yet when they enter the room everyone’s heads looks up. How can that be? How is it some people no matter how flawed in your eyes they may be, always show up perfectly self-assured and confident. How do they do that? What’s their secret?
These people are no different than you! They just feel good about themselves, and they choose to focus on like-minded people that they feel a connection with. If you focus on your low energy, or your struggle with food, stress, and it’s related weight issues, then those are the people you will attract.
“In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one’s humanity in trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting.”
It all starts with your mood, how you feel about yourself at any point in time. Why are you comparing yourself to others? This has a lot to do with limitig beliefs, thoughts from previous experiences, or ones that are told to you. Limiting beliefs take away the possibility of having possibilities. Shifting your mindset with new positive thoughts retrains your brain.
There is no one like you. So how could you possibly be like someone else? If you focus on all the negative things about yourself then you will continue to have more negative thoughts about yourself. Energy flows where attention goes. That’s why often you can’t snap yourself out of it, you are too focused on your perceived flaws instead of what’s amazing about yourself. By changing your focus, to a healthier you, you change your state. And this change creates a healthier life.
You bounce out of bed because you had a great night’s sleep, grab a bottle of water to hydrate, journal for 5 minutes how grateful you are and how amazing your day will be. You do a 10-minute HITT workout, read, meditate or practice affirmations for 10 minutes with a cup of your favorite coffee, jump in the shower, dress in your favorite clothes that look fabulous I might add, and you are ready to slay your day! You have tons of energy and you feel amazing!
Does this sound like someone without any confidence?
Your brain has been retrained with new healthy habits that send pleasure messages. Truth is – your brain loves pleasure and wants to be happy. You have spent years training it that happiness comes from a bag of Doritos or a pasta dinner! It’s time to retrain your brain with small simple habits and regain your confidence!
You are in control, if you are not happy with an aspect of your life then you have the power to change.
And if you need help to retrain your brain with new habits, schedule a free habit analysis call with me today.